You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
