I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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