There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
