Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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