I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
