ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
