i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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