so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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