Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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