I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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