I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
