So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
