sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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