I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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