You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
