I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
