What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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