I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
