You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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