his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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