i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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