I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
