Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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