i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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