We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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