You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
