He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
