His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
