Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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