i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
