TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
