so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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