1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
being pregnant is like rehab
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
