i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
