i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize