Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
