I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
