So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can I color on your dick again?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
