i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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