When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
