is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
