is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
