the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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