But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
