Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
