i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
birth control should be required to get into college
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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