We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize