so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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