I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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