i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
