Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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