he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
