Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
