I wish I could teleport
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
