I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
