if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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