I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
