I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Randomize
