You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
